The cursor has been blinking below these six names and faces.
I haven't known where to begin because there are so many emotions swirling, yet despite the tears of devastation and despair that come to the surface and back away again, my predominant emotions are rage and frustration.
Rage at the savage and violent ends for these beautiful men and women, and frustration that even in Israel, many have assumed that so few hostages could possibly still be alive. That likely only 30 or 40 are likely still alive. Well, here we had six, who were all held in tunnels, where just oxygen is tough to find, surviving a Middle Eastern summer, with practically no food or water or personal hygiene for close to a year, and they are not dead because they couldn't survive - they did survive. They are dead because they were murdered by Hamas at close range just a few days ago, and although it is customary in Judaism not to say details that will hurt the families or the memories of their loved ones, due to the level of urgency of this situation for now close to a year, I feel it is crucial to state that it is known that these particular six hostages were tortured badly before they were shot execution style just days ago. It is important to point out the brutality of Hamas. It is also an incredibly bold move, for Hamas to select two young women and an American man whose mother was on the cover of Time magazine and whose parents just gave an electrifying speech on August 21st at the Democratic National Convention - as hostages to murder so savagely. This speaks volumes to me. Hamas is fearless - and why shouldn't they be? All of the pressure for a ceasefire has been on Israel. All of the pressure for the war to end has been on Israel.
How about: Give us back our people? Instead of "Bring Them Home Now," why not "Send Them Home Now"?
The tunnel these hostages were found in was located less than a mile from the tunnel that we rescued the Bedouin-Israeli hostage from a week ago in Rafah, so it is possible that the IDF's proximity led Hamas to make this horrific decision, but had the IDF been "permitted" to enter Rafah sooner and more aggressively, perhaps more could have been done to save these human beings and the rest of the hostages months ago.
But the anger I feel is complicated, as I traveled alone to Israel in November to write about the hostages and got so involved there that I stayed until March, so I understand what is happening there and why the entire country was on strike today. It is hard being in the Diaspora right now, as I am realizing more and more regularly that Jews outside of Israel aren't understanding how Israeli Jews feel right now and what they need so badly from us.
I've tried to communicate this through my piece about Alon Ohel which can be read here, (his Mom's words put it so perfectly so I highly encourage it be read), but in Israel the responsibility for the fate of what just happened to these hostages lies squarely on the shoulders of Netanyahu, who could have signed off on deals, and these deals had the names of Hersh, Carmel and Eden on them - to be released on day one.
Jews in the Diaspora love Israel of course, and so they visit and they donate, and deep down they know that if there was ever an emergency in the world, Israel would welcome them, right? But this isn't something that can be taken for granted - that Israel will always be the safest country for Jews. It has not felt that way for Israelis since October 7th, as 250 human beings, most of whom are Israeli citizens who served in at least the army and many in multiple wars, have sat as hostages for days, weeks and months.
For Israelis, this is unheard of, as they were raised that this could never, ever happen, not in Israel - the safest country for Jews, and if this can happen in Israel, and the government won't do everything in its power to bring them home alive, then Iran can also win this war because Israelis will start to leave. This is something Nasrallah has said in his speeches lately. He has said Israelis will lose faith in their own government, and that tourism will stop and destroy the economy - (and we know Iran is already winning the propaganda war). When Israelis no longer have faith in their own system and realize they are not cared for as the top priority, which is what was happening before October 7th, which many feel led to the attack in the first place, and most - after a year of this - are feeling now - then they won't want to continue risking their lives or their children's lives for the ideals of the Zionist state.
It is the belief by most in Israel that these six beautiful souls did not need to die, and these six are beautiful souls. I knew a lot about two of them prior to the weekend and have spent the past few days learning about the other four and I can assure you my eyes are swollen.
The hearts of Israelis have been shredded for close to a year, and there is still no healing in sight. Rarely do they ask for help from us, but I am telling you that right now - more than any other time in modern Israel's history - they need us. They need all the Jews of the world putting all of the pressure that we can muster to get a deal done to bring the remaining hostages home alive. This is the only way for the country to begin to heal. Anything else we need to do for the country's security can still be done after this first priority - LIFE - is once again prioritized.
And without further ado, to love, light and life.
CARMEL.
I am going to start with Carmel Gat from Kibbutz Be'eri, the woman with the infectious smile, because I feel like I have gotten to know her through her friend Adam Rapoport, who took me to see Be'eri after I met him writing about a different hostage who was murdered in Gaza back in January (Itay Svirsky). Adam, Itay and Carmel were all from the same school.
I had just arrived in Israel in November to write about the hostage tragedy when the five-day release occurred at the end of that month, and it quickly became widely known that Carmel was teaching yoga in Gaza to captives that were held with her, including children, so I actually already knew this incredible fact before I met someone who knew her.
To imagine mastering a practice with such grace, that you could be stolen by a terrorist group and manage to not just sustain your own light but spread it - teach it - bringing light into the darkest tunnels of horror - that is nothing short of holy work.
Carmel was raised on the Kibbutz but now lived in Tel Aviv and worked as an Occupational Therapist.
"She was such a loving person, such a peace-loving person. She has friends who speak all languages and are from all backgrounds," said her cousin Gil Dickmann this afternoon on CNN.
"She was always looking for ways to treat others, and to take care of them during their most horrible phases and times of their lives. We know that in captivity, she actually took care of two youngster hostages who were with her, and she practiced yoga with them and meditation with them to make sure that they came through this horrible experience okay, and...when they came back, we were so glad to hear this because this is exactly what Carmel is, and she managed to stay herself in captivity and to take care of others...that was such an amazing thing for us to hear, and to know that after all this, after eleven months in captivity she lost her life in such a horrible way and we missed getting her back by so little - is devastating."
Not only was Carmel slated to be released on day one of any new deal, but she was also on the list to be released the day after the last deal fell apart at the end of November. Had the ceasefire not been broken by Hamas, she would have been out at the beginning of December.
On October 7th, she was in Be'eri visiting her parents, and witnessed the murder of her mother before she ripped away from her life and taken to Gaza.
Throughout her time in captivity, "Yoga for Carmel" has been done all over the world, with people not knowing if she was alive or not, but choosing light over darkness and to send her strength through yoga.
Well, she was alive. She was alive in a tunnel. For almost eleven months.
She turned 40 years old in Gaza back in May, a couple of days after my own birthday, and I felt this strong connection and kept wondering if that meant she was alive.
How I wanted her to come back. How I wanted to meet this woman of strength when I got back to Israel. When I spend more time on Be'eri. Instead, the number of dead from Be'eri has increased to 102.
May the memory of Carmel be a blessing to all who were lucky enough to have known her, and especially to the children she taught yoga to in Gaza to help them during their two months of terror. May they find someone with Carmel's light to get them through this.
HERSH.
Hersh. The first name I learned about this past Saturday at midnight.
Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was supposed to embark on December 7th on a globetrotting backpacking trip like I did at 23. The kid who loved maps and atlases, who so many Americans feel like they know as well as their own family member thanks to his incredible parents, Rachel and Jon, who have shown an example of strength and I'd say the strongest of marriages, to the world.
Through sharing fun facts about Hersh, we have grown to love him, and creative gimmicks to keep his name out there have included giving the name Hersh when ordering our coffees at Starbucks, just to hear the "HERSH!" when it's ready.
Rachel came up with counting the days of this endless war by ripping off a piece of masking tape every day, putting it on her shirt and writing in marker the day number. Her Instagram videos have discussed the process of the number changing from two digits to three, as well as how it feels when one roll of tape ends and another begins.
Hersh was seen on video being taken on October 7th by Anderson Cooper, while he was simultaneously interviewing Hersh's parents, but he had the decency and sense not to shock them on air with this. Instead, he contacted them afterwards to inform them of what he had just seen. The video showed their son being loaded onto a truck and made clear that his arm was blown off. This was all they knew about their only son for a very long time, so had no idea whether he had survived being wounded so severely before being taken captive. As Passover began, Hamas released a video of Hersh, in which you could see that his left arm, (his dominant arm, his mom would always stress), was now a stub. In that video, he stated that he was living without sunlight, food, or water, and that he would not have peace on the holiday, but hoped they would.
His parents spoke clearly and strongly to those involved in the hostage negotiations, those in Qatar, Egypt, The United States, Hamas and Israel. "Be brave, lean in, seize this moment and get a deal done to reunite all of us with our loved ones and end the suffering in this region," said his father Jon, with respect to all involved. Rachel then added: "And Hersh, if you can hear this...we heard your voice today for the first time in 201 days...and if you can hear us - I am telling you - we are telling you - we love you. Stay strong. SURVIVE."
Such power. Such grace. In what is inconceivable.
These words resonated with all of the hostage families, and became a mantra for their loved ones, and now, less than two weeks after they spoke with such power in America, they learn that after all he endured and survived on his own, that he came to a most torturous end.
May we hold his family in the light and love that they have demonstrated to all sufferers in this conflict on both sides, since the very beginning.
May the memory of this young man, with the adventurous spirit he didn't get to use nearly enough, be a blessing for all who knew and loved him, and for all of us - who feel like we did.
EDEN.
Eden Yerushalmi was from Tel Aviv and studying to be a pilates instructor. She was bartending at the Nova festival and sent her family multiple videos as the attack began. According to the Hostage Families Forum, the final texts she sent her family that day were "They've caught me," and then "Find me, okay?" These are the chilling words they were left to grapple with.
This striking photo of her at the beach always stopped me in my tracks in Israel, whenever I came across it in Hostage Square or a supermarket window or a cafe wall. It forced me yet again to take in the enormity of this tragedy, and to imagine something so sick and horrifying happening to take over the life of such a beautiful young woman.
May young Eden's memory be a blessing for all who knew and loved her.
--
Alexander Lobanov was a bar manager at the Nova Festival and the father of a two-year old on October 7th. His wife was pregnant however, so during his early months of captivity, she was one of several wives begging for her husband's return. She gave birth alone while he was in Gaza, and the baby she had is now five-months old. May Alex's memory to his beautiful wife, his very young children and all who knew and loved him be a blessing.
Ori Danino was escaping the party on October 7th, but turned his car around to rescue more people from the party before he was captured. He was from Jerusalem and had five younger brothers and sisters.
He was happiest when he was out in nature and around people, and "the best partner you can imagine," his girlfriend Liel Avraham told the Jerusalem Post.
Danino left the party with his friend in separate cars, to help as many people out as possible, but then phoned his friend to ask for the phone number of some other party goers they had just met. He returned to the party to get them, and this was the last his friend heard from him. It was determined that those he turned around to go get were also taken hostage.
He is a hero to his girlfriend for his life-saving efforts on October 7th. May his memory be a blessing to all who knew and loved him.
According to the Family Hostage Forum, Almog Sarusi loved traveling around Israel in his white Jeep with his guitar. His girlfriend of five years was murdered at the Nova festival, and he stayed by her side, hoping to help her. He was captured and taken hostage into Gaza.
May Almog's memory be a blessing to all who knew and loved him.
In case you want to help:
This is a labor of love and I feel called to do it, but admit it has cost a small fortune, between flights, rent in the US and accommodation in Israel for four months, and the building of this website. I have therefore started a GoFundMe in the hopes of getting a little bit of help to move back to Israel by October 7th. I've continued conducting interviews with families of hostages from the US. Once back in Israel, I will be basing myself on Kibbutz Be'eri, covering the rebuilding and helping the kids, who have just moved from the Dead Sea hotel over to Kibbutz Hatzerim. Anything at all will be tremendously helpful and very much appreciated to help me continue this important work. With gratitude, Melanie
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